Sometimes I Wish…

Warning: (I think) most of you guys read TCL for fun stories, recipes, and (perhaps one of two of you for) outfit posts. This post is random and rambling, so if you’re looking for the usual blog post here, you may want to skip this one.

I apologize for being a little MIA over the last several days. I’ve been feeling…overwhelmed…just with everyday life. I wrote the following when I was having a low moment last Monday morning. You know that feeling you get after spending a long period of time (weeks, even months, if not years) of running yourself into the ground resulting in you feeling so stressed and fatigued that you find yourself wanting to cry for no reason? I’ve hesitated posting this because it always seems to read much more dramatic than it actually is, but maybe I’m thinking about this too much? Hopefully, you don’t think I sound like too much of a drama queen…

Sometimes I wish I weren’t so stressed.
I wish I didn’t blog at midnight or 1 am because that’s the first time I’ve had all day to do it.
I wish I had more days with more than 1 hour of free time. Even when you’re doing mostly fun things, it can be stressful to not have any downtime.
I wish I didn’t leave my laundry in the dryer (or in the laundry basket in my living room) because I desperately need clean clothes but don’t have time to fold it once it’s done.
I wish I were better at saying “no”.
I wish I didn’t run around my house in between getting home and going to my next to-do, tossing things around like a tornado.
I wish my work weren’t so demanding.
I wish I had longer than 15 minutes of break time (yea that includes/is my lunch break) in my average work day.
I wish I didn’t cry at my desk at work.
I wish that I didn’t lay on the couch for just 15 or 30 minutes at the end of the day because it gave me a false sense of relaxing when I really should be heading straight to bed.
I wish there were more hours in the day. More days in the week. Or at least more days in a weekend.

But through all of this, I do my best to level set and reality check. I know there are many people struggling much worse than I am. I know this exhaustion is the sign of a gift because it means I have the ability to do (or at least try to do) all these things. It means I have a husband (and dog) to love, family to visit, friends who want to hang out with me, creative outlets, an exercise that is not a burden but a joy to do, the ability to teach Zumba, and a job…oh a job in this economy (no matter how stressful) is indeed a good thing. I have a lot to be thankful for, and I am.

The more straightforward solution to the stress is the one that hubby keeps suggesting – downsizing. But, exhausted as I am, I love everything too much to let anything go (ahh, so stubborn…I know). Some people have suggested that the blog is what’s taking up so much of my time, but I haven’t posted in a few days now and didn’t post a couple days before the poetry post. And you know what…I don’t feel any less stressed. In fact, after I published that poetry post, I actually felt…better. So, looks like the show will go on here on TCL.

Things are a little hectic right now, but I appreciate you coming along for the ride.

Thanks for reading,
Diana

Reader question #1: Do you ever feel overwhelmed by everyday life?
Reader question #2: Have something to get off your chest? Fill in the blank: Sometimes I wish________________.

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Comments

  1. says

    #1 I know EXACTLY how you feel

    #2 (the hard love part) don’t just wish it, do something!!! You know that saying about the definition of insanity: doing the same thing and expecting a different result … you are the ONLY one with control to change your circumstances

    #3 you may call me a hypocrite ;)

  2. Michelle says

    I find that I don’t generally get overwhelmed by every day life because I say no to a lot of things and never feel like I’m missing out. For example, tonight a friend is throwing a Halloween dinner party and I said no, I don’t want to go.

    My boyfriend is going, but I’m not. I don’t feel bad, I don’t feel like I’m missing out. I had a really rough week last week and I just really need to relax and recharge this week and being introverted means that I recharge by being alone not by being around people all the time.

  3. says

    Hang in there, Diana. I know how you feel. Sometimes life just gets too overwhelming. And your job does sound very busy and overwhelming. I always find that my blog is a place of release and allows me to share with others. It really brings me some happiness that I don’t always find in other aspects of my life. Glad to hear that you won’t stop blogging.

  4. Carol says

    Yes!!!!!!!!!! my answer to question one is YES!!
    I am a working mom and never feel like I have a handle on things.
    Confession: Sometimes I love my husband but I just don’t think he gets how overwhelmed I feel.

  5. Maryz says

    I know exactly how you feel…I had a break down over the weekend which lead to a major cry-fest for about 2 hours. Didn’t make me feel any better because the to do list still needs to be done!
    Hang in there girl!

  6. says

    I think so many of us feel the exact same way and I am consistently amazed at how much people “do” on the daily, including myself. The key is finding balance and then finding it again and again. No matter how many times I clear my plate, it somehow becomes full again. Is there something you can take off? Can you carve 15 minutes a day for yourself? It took courage to write this post. I’m confident you’ll regain balance soon enough. Happier days are ahead!

  7. says

    I can SO relate to this post. One question? Do you work in advertising? Just a guess… I’ll dig around to find out.

    Anyway, I say just try to live in the moment and try not to stress about things you can’t control. We’ll be here to read your blog so if you need to take some time off, do it for you!

  8. Whitney says

    #1: Absolutely I know how you feel. I get overwhelmed a lot, and I have to sit back and realize where the little things can be trimmed that are making me stressed (things like tracking my fitness minutes, when I don’t really need to anymore to actually keep at my exercise). I’m a crazy nuttaroo that keeps my life planned planned planned all the time, and feel like I need to fill every moment, and then often wish I HADN’T filled up those moments when I’m in them (even if, like you said, it’s doing something that should be fun!).

    #2: Sometimes I wish I was more okay with not doing EVERYTHING, and everything at the speed of light, too. I wish I could tap into my husband’s cool-cucumber attitude, and just be OKAY with not doing a lot, not having a ton of plans, and just relaxing. But mostly, I don’t
    “wish” things… because in the end I know I CHOOSE how I live my life, and if I can’t handle it or am no longer happy, I need to make changes.

    You are so strong and vibrant and beautiful, Diana– I love reading about all your exciting things in life, but remember, you are only one person, and have the ability to change your one-self. Nothing and no one else. Take some time to breathe and prioritize, and PLAN YOU TIME! ;) You’re worth it, girl!!

  9. says

    Ughhh I totally feel you on all of this! Especially the laundry thing, crying at the desk thing, and laying down as soon as you get home from work when it’s really bed tiem! I am in the same situation right now. 3 days off from blogging didn’t take any of my stress away. :(

    If you absolutely love your job, it’s one thing. For me, I am in transition, so it’s even harder.

  10. says

    Hey Diana ~
    Funny enough one of the things I have admired about you as a blogger is that you work full time and have a social life and keep up this blog and work out etc etc etc!
    I enjoy & am motivated working to a deadline so don’t tend to over-frazzle too much but I definitely have my days, and even though I try my best to eat well it’s rare these days for me to stop and take photos much less blog about it. The furthest I get is instagram! Seriously.
    Sometimes I wish I had more freedom of choice. I actually wish this a fair amount and have to remind myself how lucky I am compared to so many others that I have the choices that I do.

  11. Marie says

    I sure do have days like this. Sometimes you just need to make adjustments to your life so you can enjoy it more. Free time and downtime is just as important (and healthy) as work. Perhaps a different job or change of career is in order? Maybe asking your supervisor for flexible hours? Life is too short to be consumed and swallowed up by one thing. Downsizing is a good idea — but you have to be open to that. Maybe a job closer to home? Or more normal hours? Or a job doing something you love more (doing zumba full time?)

    Take care and don’t worry – it will eventually work out! xo

  12. says

    Girrrrrrl! No apologies necessary! I think we can ALL relate to this post in one way or another!! I have been there–I’m there now in fact! Life tends to get a little over our heads despite our best efforts to prevent it..And for passionate people like you and me, it is so hard not to jump in to everything we love at every opportunity just pushing us right over the edge! I wish i was with you right now so I could give you a big hug!! Let me leave you with this thought: I suffer with several chronic disease conditions that are pretty disabling–When they hit, the whirlwind took me from being a super-busy, loud, involved-in-everything person to hardly being able to get through my at-home tasks of being a wife and mom at home (no work, no social events, not much of anything, really!)–and on really tough days, I love seeing your encouraging, wonderful, REAL posts on TCL. You are wonderful and your bring sunshine to a lot of people’s lives! :o) Keep being you, but slow down a little and ENJOY being you and enjoy doing what you love to do so that life doesn’t try to slow you down–as I have seen all too often, it has a tendency to do that! :o) Hang in there and keep on keepin’ on!! :o)

  13. says

    Awww Diana, sorry you’ve been so stressed lately. I def know what you are talking about. For question #1: the answer is a capital YES. Sometimes I get so overwhelmed by all the things I have to (want to) do that I don’t even know where to begin. It is especially hard to try cutting down on certain things because like you, I enjoy all the things I put every minute of every day into. It can be so draining but rewarding equally. For question #2: Sometimes I wish…I had another me. That way I could get everything done with less stress because I could split all the work between both me’s and be less strained. I would have said an assistant but I kinda get particular about certain things and feel as though only I can get it done right.
    Anyways, I have done like a journal entry on your post now lol I just wanted you to see you that you’re not alone in your feelings! The most perfect song is playing now as I am writing this and I want you to listen to it, the chorus and 2nd verse apply so amazingly at the moment for what I think, its by David Choi called Hold on

    Here’s the link if the embed didn’t work
    http://youtu.be/QwXz_AZyIOA
    P.S. I love my b-day gifts! I am using one today, you may see it in my new blog post later today!

  14. says

    I’ve totally been where you’re at. I think sometimes just getting it all out on paper (or blog :)) can be really helpful. I hope you are able to find some time to pamper yourself a little (a chill night watching movies or reality tv usually does it for me :)). Hang in there!

  15. says

    I was in your exact same position the past two months. I didn’t like my job, I was applying for new ones, trying to start a health coaching business, doing my school work, blogging, and also trying to workout and cook. I realized I had to just stop putting pressure on myself.

    I cook less – maybe not the best thing to go, but I rely on some pre-made things and quick meals instead of full blown recipes. I don’t have a strict blogging schedule anymore. And since I DO have a job, starting my health coaching business isn’t a big priority.

    I feel SO much better!

  16. says

    You are definitely not alone! This is something I currently struggle with and I’m actively working on. I’ll letcha know if I find anything that works :D Not feeling guilty for saying no is the best thing I’ve done for my stress levels!

  17. says

    I feel overwhelmed by the every day almost every day. I keep searching for ways to downsize, things I can give up and still get through/enjoy every day life. And so far I’ve found nothing. Nothing that I am willing to cut out of my life. So I continue to struggle through it and spend the occasional evening on the couch with pizza instead of folding the clean laundry or cooking something healthy for the husband and I.

  18. Caitlin says

    Hate that overwhelmed feeling and I do get it! I came home from a day trip to NYC last month and broke down crying when I got home b/c I was so tired and stresseD and had another trip to Boston
    Planned for the next weekend. I cancelled my Boston trip and spent the next several wkends at home – and felt way better. I hope you get that relief, it will come, and in the mean time just try to get support from Hubby and Bailey and all your friends!

  19. says

    Girl we know exactly what you are feeling and going through! hate to admit it but we struggle with taking on too much and being under too much stress because of all the things we set out to do as well. we too are grateful and happy but we are stubborn and just keep adding to the to do list! we need more hours in the day as well! hang in there!! we love ya!! HUGS

  20. Brianna says

    I think I get stressed because I care to much. I want everything to be perfect and done the right way when most of the time it doesn’t have to of had so much of my time and energy placed behind it. Everyday is a new day. Take the good with the bad and never stop doing what makes you happy, even if you find you care too much about making it perfect. You are awesome and you’ll get through it. Good post!

  21. says

    Oh, girl, I can definitely identify with you, there! I had to completely step away from the blog world for an entire season! No posting, no reading, barely any tweeting. So, to answer your question, YES! I think it just makes us humans… interesting ones, at that.

    I’m so sorry that you’re stressed and have a lot on your plate. Hoping you can find a way to slow down and relax. Deep breathes. <3

    Linds

  22. says

    I felt a lot of those same things a week or so ago. A lot of my problems were an issue of my perception and time management. I found that when I waited a few days, I began to feel differently. This may not be the case for you, but it seems to be wise in general to avoid making rash decisions.

    I hate the fact that giving up blogging would give us more time when its the thing we love to do. Try to focus on what you want and need to do and not others’ expectations. Your readers will support you whatever you decided. Thank you so much for sharing this will us, I hope things look up soon!

  23. says

    i can totally relate to this post. I feel so overwhelmed of everyday life at the moment. everything seems to be so much harder, especially thinking positive!

    Sometimes I wish there was a guidebook with answers for difficult life questions/situations!

  24. says

    Have you tried cutting back on caffeine? I know, I know it sounds silly when you are suffering…but I’ve done it and it works for me.
    Clearly you can tell from all the responses to your post – that you are not alone, and that people actually do care. Good luck.

  25. says

    I feel the same way! Every night I feel like I didn’t get everything I wanted to done and every morning, I wonder how I will fit it all in! I’m not sure if I’m taking on too much, bad at prioritizing, or what, but I feel overwhelmed too! Hang in there!!

  26. says

    I want to leap through the computer and squeeze you in a big hug. Yes, I’ve been there. Recently. The whole crying in secret, getting 4 hours of sleep, feeling like I suck at everything experience.

    Then I went on vacation. I left the computer and cell phone behind, and just soaked in every moment, loving it for what it was. I did the things I wanted to do and (for the most part!) didn’t do the things that stressed me out.

    Came home and wanted the feeling to continue so I quit two committees that weren’t bringing me joy, committed to taking a walk before work every morning, asked my boss for some help with a project that was driving me crazy and cut back on the time I spent writing and reading blogs.

    For me, that’s been huge. I don’t have more time; I just use it more wisely.

  27. Serena says

    Oh hon, you are so not alone in feeling overwhelmed! I’m right there with you, and i dont accomplish half of what you do! I’m glad you posted this, I was starting to worry a little! Hang in there and plan a day off for yourself (or two!) as we head into holiday madness…

  28. says

    #1: I totally know how you feel. It’s part of the reason that PIP hasn’t seen much in the way of posting. Between dancing and work and life, something had to take a break for a bit. It was just too much. It’s a constant struggle to keep everything balanced. But I try to remind myself that these are wonderful problems to have.

    #2: Sometimes I wish I could just stay home for vacation instead of flying off to visit this family or that family. I love my family, but sometimes I just need some “me” time. Well, the real wish there is that we all lived closer so I could take a real vacation during my vacations instead of always going to see family, but that’s not going to happen in this lifetime . . .

    Oh, and my laundry has been in the dryer since Sunday . . .

  29. says

    I hear you on all counts. That magical work/life balance thing is even harder when you have kids. I have had a food blog for years and during busy times I go weeks without posting. I just got licensed to teach Zumba and am wondering how I’ll fit that in, too, though going to classes is one of the highlights of my week. (And, like the previous Rachel before me, my laundry has been in the dryer since Sunday, too!)

  30. says

    #1) Yes, at least once a week I walk through my front door, my amazing boyfriend asks how my day was and I just start to sob uncontrollably. I work 70-80 hours a week, eat standing up if anything at all, and I am lucky to get to go to the bathroom at least once in a 12-14 day. I am not allowed to call in sick, or use my sick time for vacation. I get no extra days off for working so long, it’s just put your head down and work harder. I also work outside and had heat exhaustion twice this summer, had to keep working though.

    You are NOT alone. Just breath and take small steps each day to do something that feeds your soul. Never lose who you are and find a path to make yourself happy, even if it is just for a moment in the day. Remember the job will never love you back until you find something you love. You are always replaceable….and years from now no one will remember you. Find YOUR happiness.

    Good luck, you deserve the best!

  31. says

    Girl, I totally feel you! I am pretty much in the same boat. I think a lot of others are too.

    Keep your head up girlie! We can do this! :)

  32. says

    Oh don’t worry, you don’t sound like a drama queen to me!
    I completely understand where you’re coming from. All I can say is hang in there and keep doing what you’re doing! You are an amazing person and your positive attitude despite all of the stress is really admirable :-)
    I have been feeling overwhelmed by life pretty much ever since I got to university! It’s been one challenge after another and the stress is definitely mounting.
    My thing to get off my chest: sometimes I wish I could walk around and live like a “normal” person…

  33. says

    This too shall pass! I had to back away from the blog for a bit while I was in school, and even now I won’t do it everyday like I used to. I tend to overload my schedule up to, but I have to remember it’s okay to say no, to take downtime, to just relax! It’s worth it to have the mental reboot, and then I can pick right back up with my crazy schedule. Wishing you balance during this time, friend!

  34. says

    I think you just put into words what me and every other woman feels at one time or another. I think that sometimes we think that that bloggers (and anyone else for that matter) have this shiny, beautiful life, but what it comes down to is that reality exists behind the curtain, or in this case, the computer screen. Sometimes I wonder how others have so much time to devote to their blogs or balance everything they do. Thank you for openly and honestly sharing how you feel.

    # Yes, I feel overwhelmed by everyday life. But once I sit down to think about it, I am thankful for the life that I do have and all of my abilities. Who doesn’t feel overwhelmed from time to time?

    #2 Sometimes I wish… I wish all of the time that I could get pregnant already. Why can a 16 year old girl get pregnant so easily, yet a healthy woman with a wonderful husband, home, and life, who has been trying for over 2 years to get pregnant, can’t??

    FYI, if you need a vacation, you can always escape to Charleston for the weekend! :)

  35. says

    My heart goes out to you Diana… you’re not alone with feeling overwhelmed. There have been a lot of great comments here so far and I agree with what others have said. Take it one day at a time, and remember that if you don’t *love* your job, perhaps there’s a conversation to be had with your supervisor about hiring an assistant for you, or there’s another company out there for you that will be better for you and give you more respect.

  36. says

    I got that feeling so bad this past month. In a way I feel like you wrote that post for me. I was so overwhelmed that this month I made it a goal to figure out balance in my life. I hope things get better for you, I really do. I just wanted to make a point that your not alone.

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