My friend wants to change her life, but she’s super overwhelmed and doesn’t know where to start. There are just TOO many things in TOO many areas of her life. And so many of them feel equally important. Can you relate? I know I can!
I’ve felt this way MANY times in my life. Even with my health coaching and decades personal development experience, the struggle is real. You can know how to determine what areas of your life to focus on first and make a plan, but what if you choose the wrong focus area? What if you don’t make progress fast enough? What if it doesn’t go well?
What if, what if, WHAT IF?!
It’s such a stressful place to be, especially as someone trying to pick themselves back up after divorce. A place I found myself not too long ago. As her resident personal development geek, she and I have been having TONS of conversations about all things self improvement.
Which I, of course, LOVE to talk about!
When it comes to post-divorce life, it can feel especially overwhelming to pick up all the broken pieces of your life and try to put something beautiful together. In the months during and after my divorce, I essentially lost the entire life I’d known before. Nothing looked the same: not my home, my dog, my city, my family, my friends, my money…and the list goes on.
(And I’m sure this is even relatable for others going through non-divorce major life changes)
So, what do you do when your whole world has been shaken up like a mf-ing snow globe?
Where do you start when you’re starting over with a new home, new city, and (basically) new life overall? How do you get things “back on track” when the stress of your divorce and related life challenges distracted you from your health, wealth, and even happiness?
My suggestion was to not let herself get into analysis paralysis. To not let overthinking prevent her from taking ANY action. At the end of the day action is key. So I recommended following her thought of making a plan but also going ahead and starting making tiny shifts here and there.
To find little micro-shifts that make powerful shifts over time, like my thought pivot (one of my favorite and most powerful exercises).
To which she said:
“I have an all or nothing personality, though. Something tells me if I can’t go big to not try at all.”
To which I replied:
“Okay, here’s where I’m going to get tough love-y on you.
Thinking you can only take action if you go all in or do something huge is just a limiting belief. It’s also probably not true.
It’s a good exercise to check your limiting beliefs. Have all the past changes you’ve made in your life happened through big bang changes or have you made progress through lots of small changes? See if there’s any truth to it. There probably isn’t.
On top of this, are you going to let this limiting belief hold you back from actually changing your life and living the biggest, baddest, boldest life of your dreams?
Who’s stronger? You or the limiting belief?”
The last question is a play on a phrase my high school history teacher used to use with the popular kids who were known for smoking. Our history teacher was the kind who actually cared about us kids and was super into health, so I think he worried about them.
He was also an ex army guy who had a neck like a wrestler and a picture of himself in full camo looking very tough in the back of the class.
And sometimes in class, he’d take a pause from his history lessons and say to whichever student he wanted to check in on that day: “David, who’s stronger? You or the cigarette?”
David, a classic high school party kid, would always nonchalantly answer: “The cigarette.”
As a high school outcast, I was not actually friends with David, so I’m not really sure whatever happened with his nicotine habits.
But I do LOVE the concept of the phrase because it applies to so many situations, like the one with my friend above. Like me with my own limiting beliefs. It’s a good one!
So I’ll ask the same question to you, my dear reader: Who’s stronger? You or the limiting belief?
(I hope you know it’s you)
Journal Prompts to Be Stronger Than Your Limiting Belief
- What do I find myself saying again and again that I’m starting to realize is holding me back from what I really want in life? Note: This is your current limiting belief.
- What is it costing me to give more power to this limiting belief than to taking action towards my dream life?
- What could I gain by no longer letting this limiting belief hold me back?
- How would it make me feel to overcome this limiting belief and step closer to my dream life?
- Who’s stronger: me or the limiting belief? Remember: you get to choose your reality in this life. Choose well!
- Scratch through the limiting belief and write a new, empowering belief instead. Note: If you can’t make the jump to a super empowering belief, try writing one that is at least more neutral and aligned to your dream life.
Action step: Next time you encounter this limiting belief, do a thought pivot. Give yourself grace for having this limiting belief. And then say / think your empowering belief. Give more energy to the empowering belief instead. Notice how you feel more energized to take action for your dream life.
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